A big-lipped trumpet-playing alligator moment

[taotrooper]

So this entry isn't pointless, and I don't have to pretend I've been a good LJfriend lately (so getting a coal these holidays), how about some reviews?

• The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman, also known as the lovechild of The Jungle Book and Tim Burton's filmography. It was fine, some stories more interesting than others (my favorite was the Danse Macabre one), but the ending chapters felt sort of rushed to me. Then again, all Gaiman novels do feel like that to me, somehow. They start well, and then I go "...so, that's it?" at the ending.


• The Princess and the Frog. Cute! I was expecting to love it more after reading the spoilers and seeing how hard Disney was trying to make it different. I did like it, and Tiana/Naveen is hot and refreshing, but it all happened too fast for me and couldn't get attached. Maybe my memories of the golden age of Disney were too hyped and this is why I wasn't 100% satisfied? Or was it the lack of charisma in the animal sidekicks? But anyway, it's a fine first return to 2D!


• Sword of the Stranger. I can only explain this by saying gorey samurai flick + Seirei no Moribito + Rurouni Kenshin + a puppy. It was fun! Kinda cliché much, and Nanashi is like the sexy lovechild of Kenshin Himura and Balsa who's failing to cosplay the dude from Blade of the Immortal, but the characters are cool and well-rounded for a movie -except for the crazy blond rival guy, he wasn't developed at all. I can tell you I would totally watch a show about the happy adventures of Kotaro and his two cute pets, Tobimaru and Nanashi. Or at least light novels or manga based on it. Come on, Japan, make it happen!


• Summer Wars. Found a Korean fansub and an English sub file. Anyway, this movie's about TEH INTERWEBZ AND BREAKING THEM, you guys. Therefore, it's epic. (Also about family, but mostly, Internet being trolled) This near future has a massive network called OZ, where everyone IRL has an account and a cutesy avatar. Most business and organizations use it, but I guess most folks use it for shopping, IMing like it was Habbo Hotel, and Facebook-like minigames. Cellphone lines are also associated to your online monkey. It also has a babelfish that works, which is the biggest uncanny valley in the whole movie. Nonetheless, it's pretty cool. So obviously, hacking this entire massive shit is like hacking the whole planet. GUESS WHAT HAPPENS.
  
  This guy creates an hacker A.I. who likes to get knowledge. It's sold to the American military, and they decide to test it in motherfucking Oz because they're stupid. The A.I., called Love Machine for some weird reason, emails some mathematicians a problem to decode. So they do so, and it hacks their accounts in return. It turns out the problem was some sort of master public key for Oz and they had pretty much decrypted THE INTERNET for Love Machine, who can now hack whatever and whoever it wants. Even traffic lights and the fire department. Big trolling. Then the entirety of Japanese authorities, who are confused as fuck, get schooled over the phone by an awesome grandma. I love that grandma, she's the best character in the movie.
  
  Meanwhile, Love Machine gets bigger and bigger as it absorbs more and more avatars. First it looks like a bizarro version of Enel from One Piece, then eventually gets to be a... you know when cartoon bees form a figure? Like this, but with fluffy animals. It's like a giant Pet Society monster, guys; it will haunt my nightmares! The first battle in this EPIC WAR was going all shounen on its godmod ass, since one of the characters was the world champion of Internet kung-fu (yeaaaaaah). It was going almost well when it was just like ten avatars, and then they almost tricked it in Enel mode, but real life and annoying relatives got in the way (we can aaaall relate to that, kid).
  
  Incidentally, LM -who lacks morals because it's a fucking software- decides to drop a space probe on nuclear reactors for the lulz. With a time limit of two hours to stop it. Yeah, no one is laughing now.
  
  Then the REAL war begins, and I can't explain you how and who managed to save the day because it's so surreal and epic win at the same time, I don't have the heart to spoil you. It's very WTF and FUCK YEAH! at the same time. You'll see.
  
  Without entering in the real life details of the plot, this movie is all over the place and the cast is huge. But it's so satisfying and epic. Plus, it makes you wondering about the issues of newest technologies being so involved in everything. So go watch it when there are good English subs, because it's pretty cool.