Kiri ☂ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
taotrooper) wrote2009-06-20 12:10 am
taotrooper) wrote2009-06-20 12:10 am
Entry tags:
[CLAMP] Mystery box
Title: Mystery box
Genre: Crack
Fandom: XXXHOLiC/Cardcaptor Sakura
Rating: PG for swearing
Characters: Yuuko, Watanuki, Nakuru, Spinel, Eriol and black Mokona
Pairing: implied Clow/Yuuko. Eriol/Kaho if you squint.
Words: +1600
"Delivery again?" Watanuki wailed at Yuuko, who was on half of her second bottle of sake.
"I need you to take a little box to a hotel room at the Sunshine City Prince Hotel. The customer came to Japan specifically to get this." She made a gesture of disgust.
"And why is this customer not coming here to pick it up?" He was already exasperated at the lack of logic of the situation. His job was always like that.
"Because he doesn't have a strong enough wish that’ll allow him to come inside. And I'm not meeting him."
"I don't understand," he sighed.
"I can't meet him. I won't meet him." She served herself more sake. "So, be a good boy and deliver the box. And don't leave the place until he checked the content and hands you the payment."
"Fine, I have no choice. Where is the stupid box?"
"Over there." Yuuko grinned as she pointed at a heavy, regular-sized cardboard box at the corner. As she expected, he exploded in rage.
"...THAT'S A LITTLE BOX?! You're a slave master, not an employer!!"
"Don't be such a whiner, honey. I put a spell on it to make it lighter."
"Ah... let me guess..."
"You'll have to work extra hours, yes."
"DAMMIT."
"Don't you want to use a portal to get there faster?"
"No, thanks. I value my debt as it is."
"You learn fast," she admitted as she took a sip.
***
Kimihiro discovered, no matter how lightened a box was, that walking all through the city carrying it could kill both your arms and legs, not to mention the back. He regretted he had declined Yuuko's offer, as obnoxious and expensive the portal concept is. The box made strange noises as he moved, and that was freaking him out.
At last, with his scarce energies, he dragged the box through the hallway floor of the hotel. Finally, room 108. He put himself together and knocked the door. He heard voices speaking in a foreign language. What was he supposed to do if the customer couldn't understand Japanese?
The door opened.
For some seconds, he thought it was Yuuko after a couple of drinks. Then he noticed the hair was shorter and brown, she was less taller and way flatter on the chest area. The young woman was glancing behind her shoulder, still speaking in something that sounded like English. She turned around to him, still speaking.
"Hey, I want to call room service and Spinel won't le--- oh." She blinked, and switched to fluent Japanese. "You're not Eriol."
"Uh, no." Watanuki didn't know what an Erioru was, but he hoped he wasn't one. There was something scary about the girl, and it wasn't just Yuuko's resemblance. "I came here to deliver a box."
"Aaaaah! Yeah, that! Come in!" She beamed.
"...I'M EXHAUSTED! It's your fucking box, go carry it yourself!"
"Okay!" She jumped cheerfully and picked the box. He followed her inside the room. Then he discovered the room was empty. There were two open suitcases in the piece. Wasn't she chatting with a second person? He heard two voices.
"Hurry up and open it!" He was tired and wanted to go to bed. But instead of focusing on the box, she was examining Watanuki.
"Hee, you're so cute!" Then she proceeded to cling to his neck.
"What?!" He blushed. "Let me go."
"You smell delicious~!"
"LET ME GO!"
"Ooh, I like them feisty."
"OPEN THE BOX!" He couldn't get rid of her. It was like an ayakashi, only considerably less uglier and definitely noisier.
"We cannot do that," the second voice said. It was high-pitched, like a child's, but it sounded serious and elegant. "Can't you see the magical seals around it?"
Now that he glanced at it again, the box was indeed surrounded by a weak purple light. How could he not see it, after an hour of carrying it?
"Then take it off. I can't leave without you checking it first. AND YOU LET ME GO ALREADY!"
"Ruby Moon, leave him alone. His powers are out of your league." She let him off, growling at the voice. "Look, boy---"
"Excuse me, but I can't 'look' at you. You're invisible and stuff."
"I'm on the bed. Honestly, and you work for that witch..."
Then he lowered his eyes, and noticed the tiny black kitten lying on a pillow. There was something on his back that looked like wings.
Oh great, another talking cat.
"You?!"
"Yes, and please stop yelling. You're giving me a headache. I was saying those seals can only be removed by a sorcerer. We might be magical, but we cannot perform spells. You must wait until our master comes back."
Kimihiro opened his eyes wide.
"Master? So you guys are like Maru and Moro? You can't leave this place?"
"Who are Maru and Moro?" The girl asked.
"You're an idiot. We are guardians, something you have never seen before in your life. And besides, how could we not leave this temporary hotel room? Use logic for once."
"This cat is really annoying," Watanuki murmured to the girl, who was watching him closely.
"Tell me about it! Suppi is so boring sometimes."
"Stop with the nickname! It's Spinel Sun! And I can hear you both."
"Well, you called me an idiot."
"He's even grumpier than Touya-kun~ How adorable~"
***
Spinel sighed as the teenager screamed at Ruby Moon's every single movement. And he thought it was going to be a quiet afternoon.
***
Ten minutes later, Watanuki was still stuck in the room with the guardians. The box was still making deaf noises, but the other ones didn't seem to care. He figured the real customer had to be scary. He had these creatures under his command, and Yuuko was definitely avoiding him. It had to be bad.
Finally, he heard the door opening. He turned around, apprehensive.
And then he saw a kid a couple of years younger than him. He was in what, junior high school? Also, except for the blue eyes behind the glasses, he didn't really look like a gaijin. The boy was carrying two pink boxes with pastries, and he seemed amused by the scene.
"Well, I miscalculated the time. I thought you wouldn't arrive until sunrise." He left the boxes on a small table, and grinned. "Nice to meet you, Watanuki Kimihiro-kun. My name is Hiiragizawa Eriol."
"Ah, samewise... How did you know my name?"
"That's a secret. So, how's Yuuko?"
"Drunk," Kimihiro said with sincerity.
"Then she's fine. When she stops drinking, start to be concerned. Where are the things?"
Watanuki pointed at the box. "There. And please, kid, open it already. I want to go home."
"He's old enough to be your father," Spinel remarked, as they saw Eriol neutralizing the seals with red energy. "Do you reckon the Witch of Dimension is on her thirties?"
Oh dear. Just the idea of Yuuko's age made him feel sick.
Eriol opened the box. And then, a black object hopped from inside, right to his face. The guardians suppressed a gasp. Watanuki hit his face with his palm. Of course, that made the noise.
"What the hell!! How did YOU get inside the box?!"
"Ah," Spinel nodded.
"What is that?" Ruby asked. "It looks cute."
"It's nothing cute! It's a stupid black manjuu who snuck in the box."
"Mokona is Mokona!" Eriol had removed the small guy from his head, so now it was on his shoulder. He didn't seem annoyed at all.
"Long time no see, Larg."
"Yup! We missed you!"
"Larg...? Its name is Mokona..."
"It's also Larg. I see Yuuko is determined not to call you that, eh?"
"Nope! And Yuuko is right, it's just half! So now your name is Eriol?"
"Indeed," Eriol laughed. "Now there are two of us, like there's two of you."
"Er, hello?" Watanuki interrupted the incoherent yet emotive scene. "The rest of the box."
"Right. Sorry, Watanuki-kun. Ruby, Spinel, help me check."
"Okay!"
"Yes."
To Kimihiro's disappointment, the box was filled with smelling old Chinese clothes and some antique, dusty books. Spinel was already browsing the pages of one of the books, while Mokona was playing around the box with Ruby.
"That's it? That's what you wanted? Some cheap, old books and clothes?"
"The outfits are made of Hindi silk," Eriol pointed out, "while the books, grimoires and manuscripts are centuries old. This is definitely not cheap, Watanuki-kun."
"Ah. Oh, right. The payment."
"I haven't forgotten." Eriol went to his suitcase, and gave Watanuki a handful of yellow envelopes tied up with a red ribbon. "This is what Yuuko asked for the box."
"No way. So little? I had to carry a heavy box through the city to get some papers back?"
"I'm compensating you for your hard work." Eriol also handed out the pastry boxes. "Here, there are four each, so that's eight. Four for you and only you; you can share the rest. One for Yuuko, one for Mokona, because they'll want some; and the other two are for your friends: the boy who practices archery and the cute girl with the ponytails."
"Pastries!" They heard Mokona cried.
"...HOW---?!"
Eriol just smiled behind his glasses.
Kimihiro noticed it was a rather annoying, know-it-all smile.
No wonder Yuuko didn't want to meet him.
***
"So," Spinel asked, "this is what Clow left at the witch's house. Can we return to England now?"
"Yes. I finally got them back. There's a metaphysics book you're going to love, by the way."
"But what did you give her in return, Eriol?" Nakuru said. Eriol turned serious.
"Don't tell Kaho about this. Those envelopes were compromising letters she sent Clow a while ago. I found them at the Tomoeda manor. Let's say this deal isn't really the act of granting a wish..."
"So you blackmailed her in order to get those valuable books back," said Spinel.
Eriol chuckled.
"When your ex can actually sell your old belongings around, you can't ask nicely."
"Now that I think about it, I wanted some pastries, too," Nakuru pouted.
Genre: Crack
Fandom: XXXHOLiC/Cardcaptor Sakura
Rating: PG for swearing
Characters: Yuuko, Watanuki, Nakuru, Spinel, Eriol and black Mokona
Pairing: implied Clow/Yuuko. Eriol/Kaho if you squint.
Words: +1600
"Delivery again?" Watanuki wailed at Yuuko, who was on half of her second bottle of sake.
"I need you to take a little box to a hotel room at the Sunshine City Prince Hotel. The customer came to Japan specifically to get this." She made a gesture of disgust.
"And why is this customer not coming here to pick it up?" He was already exasperated at the lack of logic of the situation. His job was always like that.
"Because he doesn't have a strong enough wish that’ll allow him to come inside. And I'm not meeting him."
"I don't understand," he sighed.
"I can't meet him. I won't meet him." She served herself more sake. "So, be a good boy and deliver the box. And don't leave the place until he checked the content and hands you the payment."
"Fine, I have no choice. Where is the stupid box?"
"Over there." Yuuko grinned as she pointed at a heavy, regular-sized cardboard box at the corner. As she expected, he exploded in rage.
"...THAT'S A LITTLE BOX?! You're a slave master, not an employer!!"
"Don't be such a whiner, honey. I put a spell on it to make it lighter."
"Ah... let me guess..."
"You'll have to work extra hours, yes."
"DAMMIT."
"Don't you want to use a portal to get there faster?"
"No, thanks. I value my debt as it is."
"You learn fast," she admitted as she took a sip.
***
Kimihiro discovered, no matter how lightened a box was, that walking all through the city carrying it could kill both your arms and legs, not to mention the back. He regretted he had declined Yuuko's offer, as obnoxious and expensive the portal concept is. The box made strange noises as he moved, and that was freaking him out.
At last, with his scarce energies, he dragged the box through the hallway floor of the hotel. Finally, room 108. He put himself together and knocked the door. He heard voices speaking in a foreign language. What was he supposed to do if the customer couldn't understand Japanese?
The door opened.
For some seconds, he thought it was Yuuko after a couple of drinks. Then he noticed the hair was shorter and brown, she was less taller and way flatter on the chest area. The young woman was glancing behind her shoulder, still speaking in something that sounded like English. She turned around to him, still speaking.
"Hey, I want to call room service and Spinel won't le--- oh." She blinked, and switched to fluent Japanese. "You're not Eriol."
"Uh, no." Watanuki didn't know what an Erioru was, but he hoped he wasn't one. There was something scary about the girl, and it wasn't just Yuuko's resemblance. "I came here to deliver a box."
"Aaaaah! Yeah, that! Come in!" She beamed.
"...I'M EXHAUSTED! It's your fucking box, go carry it yourself!"
"Okay!" She jumped cheerfully and picked the box. He followed her inside the room. Then he discovered the room was empty. There were two open suitcases in the piece. Wasn't she chatting with a second person? He heard two voices.
"Hurry up and open it!" He was tired and wanted to go to bed. But instead of focusing on the box, she was examining Watanuki.
"Hee, you're so cute!" Then she proceeded to cling to his neck.
"What?!" He blushed. "Let me go."
"You smell delicious~!"
"LET ME GO!"
"Ooh, I like them feisty."
"OPEN THE BOX!" He couldn't get rid of her. It was like an ayakashi, only considerably less uglier and definitely noisier.
"We cannot do that," the second voice said. It was high-pitched, like a child's, but it sounded serious and elegant. "Can't you see the magical seals around it?"
Now that he glanced at it again, the box was indeed surrounded by a weak purple light. How could he not see it, after an hour of carrying it?
"Then take it off. I can't leave without you checking it first. AND YOU LET ME GO ALREADY!"
"Ruby Moon, leave him alone. His powers are out of your league." She let him off, growling at the voice. "Look, boy---"
"Excuse me, but I can't 'look' at you. You're invisible and stuff."
"I'm on the bed. Honestly, and you work for that witch..."
Then he lowered his eyes, and noticed the tiny black kitten lying on a pillow. There was something on his back that looked like wings.
Oh great, another talking cat.
"You?!"
"Yes, and please stop yelling. You're giving me a headache. I was saying those seals can only be removed by a sorcerer. We might be magical, but we cannot perform spells. You must wait until our master comes back."
Kimihiro opened his eyes wide.
"Master? So you guys are like Maru and Moro? You can't leave this place?"
"Who are Maru and Moro?" The girl asked.
"You're an idiot. We are guardians, something you have never seen before in your life. And besides, how could we not leave this temporary hotel room? Use logic for once."
"This cat is really annoying," Watanuki murmured to the girl, who was watching him closely.
"Tell me about it! Suppi is so boring sometimes."
"Stop with the nickname! It's Spinel Sun! And I can hear you both."
"Well, you called me an idiot."
"He's even grumpier than Touya-kun~ How adorable~"
***
Spinel sighed as the teenager screamed at Ruby Moon's every single movement. And he thought it was going to be a quiet afternoon.
***
Ten minutes later, Watanuki was still stuck in the room with the guardians. The box was still making deaf noises, but the other ones didn't seem to care. He figured the real customer had to be scary. He had these creatures under his command, and Yuuko was definitely avoiding him. It had to be bad.
Finally, he heard the door opening. He turned around, apprehensive.
And then he saw a kid a couple of years younger than him. He was in what, junior high school? Also, except for the blue eyes behind the glasses, he didn't really look like a gaijin. The boy was carrying two pink boxes with pastries, and he seemed amused by the scene.
"Well, I miscalculated the time. I thought you wouldn't arrive until sunrise." He left the boxes on a small table, and grinned. "Nice to meet you, Watanuki Kimihiro-kun. My name is Hiiragizawa Eriol."
"Ah, samewise... How did you know my name?"
"That's a secret. So, how's Yuuko?"
"Drunk," Kimihiro said with sincerity.
"Then she's fine. When she stops drinking, start to be concerned. Where are the things?"
Watanuki pointed at the box. "There. And please, kid, open it already. I want to go home."
"He's old enough to be your father," Spinel remarked, as they saw Eriol neutralizing the seals with red energy. "Do you reckon the Witch of Dimension is on her thirties?"
Oh dear. Just the idea of Yuuko's age made him feel sick.
Eriol opened the box. And then, a black object hopped from inside, right to his face. The guardians suppressed a gasp. Watanuki hit his face with his palm. Of course, that made the noise.
"What the hell!! How did YOU get inside the box?!"
"Ah," Spinel nodded.
"What is that?" Ruby asked. "It looks cute."
"It's nothing cute! It's a stupid black manjuu who snuck in the box."
"Mokona is Mokona!" Eriol had removed the small guy from his head, so now it was on his shoulder. He didn't seem annoyed at all.
"Long time no see, Larg."
"Yup! We missed you!"
"Larg...? Its name is Mokona..."
"It's also Larg. I see Yuuko is determined not to call you that, eh?"
"Nope! And Yuuko is right, it's just half! So now your name is Eriol?"
"Indeed," Eriol laughed. "Now there are two of us, like there's two of you."
"Er, hello?" Watanuki interrupted the incoherent yet emotive scene. "The rest of the box."
"Right. Sorry, Watanuki-kun. Ruby, Spinel, help me check."
"Okay!"
"Yes."
To Kimihiro's disappointment, the box was filled with smelling old Chinese clothes and some antique, dusty books. Spinel was already browsing the pages of one of the books, while Mokona was playing around the box with Ruby.
"That's it? That's what you wanted? Some cheap, old books and clothes?"
"The outfits are made of Hindi silk," Eriol pointed out, "while the books, grimoires and manuscripts are centuries old. This is definitely not cheap, Watanuki-kun."
"Ah. Oh, right. The payment."
"I haven't forgotten." Eriol went to his suitcase, and gave Watanuki a handful of yellow envelopes tied up with a red ribbon. "This is what Yuuko asked for the box."
"No way. So little? I had to carry a heavy box through the city to get some papers back?"
"I'm compensating you for your hard work." Eriol also handed out the pastry boxes. "Here, there are four each, so that's eight. Four for you and only you; you can share the rest. One for Yuuko, one for Mokona, because they'll want some; and the other two are for your friends: the boy who practices archery and the cute girl with the ponytails."
"Pastries!" They heard Mokona cried.
"...HOW---?!"
Eriol just smiled behind his glasses.
Kimihiro noticed it was a rather annoying, know-it-all smile.
No wonder Yuuko didn't want to meet him.
***
"So," Spinel asked, "this is what Clow left at the witch's house. Can we return to England now?"
"Yes. I finally got them back. There's a metaphysics book you're going to love, by the way."
"But what did you give her in return, Eriol?" Nakuru said. Eriol turned serious.
"Don't tell Kaho about this. Those envelopes were compromising letters she sent Clow a while ago. I found them at the Tomoeda manor. Let's say this deal isn't really the act of granting a wish..."
"So you blackmailed her in order to get those valuable books back," said Spinel.
Eriol chuckled.
"When your ex can actually sell your old belongings around, you can't ask nicely."
"Now that I think about it, I wanted some pastries, too," Nakuru pouted.