Kiri ☂ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
taotrooper) wrote2006-12-20 10:36 am
taotrooper) wrote2006-12-20 10:36 am
Entry tags:
Twilight Princess log 002a
SPOILERS up to, um, Forest Temple.
Last time I saved, I was about to enter the last part of Faron forest. Dunno, I think I thought I was going to enter a temple so I saved just in case. So anyway, I get to find the kid, locked in a cage with a female monkey (OMG it's female because she has a FLOWER on her head!). I free the irresponsible bastards that ruined Link's "day off". He goes all "don't tell my dad", but it looks like Colin Creevey told HIS dad. Tut tut, have more faith on Teh Linkorz. So if the pug face, the lameness, and the possible fagness wasn't enough to get despised and bullied by the other kids, now Colin adds "telling off" to his CV of antisociality. Poor kid.
Next day is the daythe world as we know it ends (and I feel fiiiiiine) Link has to go to Hyrule Castle to kiss the king's ass representing the village. But gee, even if he's way more responsible than most adults in town put together, trusting Link that much? Why is he a better choice than other people? Disgusting possibility: he's hot and young, and the king is into that. But with the fate of Ordon in his (left-handy, thank you very much) hands, what does he do before setting off? WORK. Again, herding the fucking buffalos cows sheep goats.
But before the mayor gives me the sword already, Ilia shows her true colors: as in the one wearing the pants in the whole town. No, really. She goes "WTF Epona's leg is hurt because of you forcing her to jump, you insensitive dick! You're soooooo not going to the shiny capital with her, young man!" And on the meantime, daddy mayor and Link exchange looks of "oops D:" A part of me was LOLing because Link is so her bitch, and the other part was wanting to yell to the screen "Excuse meprincess (wait, wrong love interest), but go yell at my boss, who puts the stupid fence on the door every time I want to leave the ranch, so stop PMSing on the wrong person!" But you know, I'd lose anyway because she's an NPC and shit.
And what does the mayor tell me? To go follow her and get Epona back or I won't be able to make it. Gee, thanks dad.
So in front of my house there's the fanclub. Irresponsible Boy and Sarcastic Baby don't let me pass with Colin Creevey, because he's a coward big-mouthed fag or something. But then as soon as I give him my sword (dude, that kid is like my brother or something, with his 1337 lawyer convincing skillz; and I gave it the sword because I know I won't be needing it anyway) they go away. Colin told me at some moment he wants to be like Link when he grows up, except for the sword-and-slingshot part because they're scary. Er. Yeah, this is The GoddamnBatman Hero, the sword is kinda GRANTED. But Colin means he wants to be like Link to ride horses and all. Dude, then become a jockey!
So anyway, when I glance at the baka brothers swinging the sword, Colin disappears. Dude, this is either the most shameless kidnapping ever, or a game bug, or Colin went get the camera.
I get to the fountain and the gates are closed. But what the hell, Colin Creevey is inside with Ilia! Ilia is still PMS and going "well, Link [insert middle name] [insert last name], if you think you're getting this poor horse today, you're dead wrongunless you kiss me with tongue". Colin decides to stop being a wuss and bitchslap Ilia his rival in love by telling her What Happened Yesterday. I mindboggle a bit because I didn't even use Epona that much in the rescue, but I still shrug and slither through the stupid hole that is the not so secret entrance.
When I get back, Colin had told his tale, probably omitting personal wet fantasies. And it works, because Ilia is all like "OMG awww that was so brave and hawt! Forgive me, Link! Let me heal Epona for you!"
PWNED.
But then Ilia is all resented because Epona is cold with her. Then in an act that proves she IS on her period, she tells her aloud "oh man, you still love your master more than me D:"
Hold it. Are you being jealous of the other, er, female in Link's life (*tries NOT to think about furry, but that damn village and their big buffalo-goats does it for her), or do you have a crush on Epona? Color me confused.
Then, you know, she starts saying good-bye, telling us (Link and Epona) to be careful, and then... invaders!
To be continued because I have class now.
Last time I saved, I was about to enter the last part of Faron forest. Dunno, I think I thought I was going to enter a temple so I saved just in case. So anyway, I get to find the kid, locked in a cage with a female monkey (OMG it's female because she has a FLOWER on her head!). I free the irresponsible bastards that ruined Link's "day off". He goes all "don't tell my dad", but it looks like Colin Creevey told HIS dad. Tut tut, have more faith on Teh Linkorz. So if the pug face, the lameness, and the possible fagness wasn't enough to get despised and bullied by the other kids, now Colin adds "telling off" to his CV of antisociality. Poor kid.
Next day is the day
But before the mayor gives me the sword already, Ilia shows her true colors: as in the one wearing the pants in the whole town. No, really. She goes "WTF Epona's leg is hurt because of you forcing her to jump, you insensitive dick! You're soooooo not going to the shiny capital with her, young man!" And on the meantime, daddy mayor and Link exchange looks of "oops D:" A part of me was LOLing because Link is so her bitch, and the other part was wanting to yell to the screen "Excuse me
And what does the mayor tell me? To go follow her and get Epona back or I won't be able to make it. Gee, thanks dad.
So in front of my house there's the fanclub. Irresponsible Boy and Sarcastic Baby don't let me pass with Colin Creevey, because he's a coward big-mouthed fag or something. But then as soon as I give him my sword (dude, that kid is like my brother or something, with his 1337 lawyer convincing skillz; and I gave it the sword because I know I won't be needing it anyway) they go away. Colin told me at some moment he wants to be like Link when he grows up, except for the sword-and-slingshot part because they're scary. Er. Yeah, this is The Goddamn
So anyway, when I glance at the baka brothers swinging the sword, Colin disappears. Dude, this is either the most shameless kidnapping ever, or a game bug, or Colin went get the camera.
I get to the fountain and the gates are closed. But what the hell, Colin Creevey is inside with Ilia! Ilia is still PMS and going "well, Link [insert middle name] [insert last name], if you think you're getting this poor horse today, you're dead wrong
When I get back, Colin had told his tale, probably omitting personal wet fantasies. And it works, because Ilia is all like "OMG awww that was so brave and hawt! Forgive me, Link! Let me heal Epona for you!"
PWNED.
But then Ilia is all resented because Epona is cold with her. Then in an act that proves she IS on her period, she tells her aloud "oh man, you still love your master more than me D:"
Hold it. Are you being jealous of the other, er, female in Link's life (*tries NOT to think about furry, but that damn village and their big buffalo-goats does it for her), or do you have a crush on Epona? Color me confused.
Then, you know, she starts saying good-bye, telling us (Link and Epona) to be careful, and then... invaders!
To be continued because I have class now.