Kiri ☂ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
taotrooper) wrote2006-12-17 11:35 am
taotrooper) wrote2006-12-17 11:35 am
Entry tags:
And now THIS is a flame
Horrible, horrible, horrible. Poor and wooden exposition for *three*
chapters? I realise one can't avoid placing down a little groundwork
but for God's sake, this is ridiculous. If nothing else, Clow is such a
person to wish for Kaho to discover certain things for herself. It
would have been better to have him set her tasks of a sort, so that she
learns that she herself holds the answers already.
Nice premise, shitty execution.
But...
People who have read my E/K fic up to chapter 3, does this person actually have a point? I'm trying to think about it, but I'm fearing I might stick to my subjective logic and disagree with it forever.
Because, you know. I'm trying to think any moment Clow (as in Clow, not Eriol; maybe the reviewer confuses them?) wanted anyone to figure things out by his/herself. Let's see, uh... Sakura? Got her important explanations from Kero, Syaoran, Yue, Kaho, the Eriol-tachi. Clow always provided explanations to Sakura through people. The only person related to Clow who figures a big part of the picture, although not with the whole details, by his own was Touya, and Clow never had that much of a plan for him -or at least beyond giving Yue his magic, if Clow had known that.
Kero and Yue never figured things by themselves, would always find out about Clow's true schemes through the Eriol-tachi, and their memories were altered -more than once, in Yue's case- so they could never.
This is the people Clow loved and trusted. If he never wanted them to come up with answers on their own with no external help, why would he give a damn about bell-bearer Kaho, future reincarnation-girlfriend or not? He and Eriol can't figure out hearts for shit, so would they know she's capable of coming up with the answers on her own?
Also, we don't know how strong Kaho's clairvoyance is. I've thought long about it before writing this fic, and considering Kaho has sported a WTF face more than once during the Final Judgment, I doubt she could be able to figure everything by herself (with or without Eriol's explanations.)
And also, I find know-it-all!Kaho so boring and Sue-like. The Clow affair is messy, and most of the involved people could only understand the big plan after everything is done and you've heard everyone's story. If not even Clow Reed knew how everything would out to be... why would random shrine maiden Kaho Mizuki, who's described as much as an absent-minded person as she's insightful?
Dunno, that's the logic I used for my plotbunny. Obviously, if the reader's interpretation of the characters involved in my Eriol/Kaho is strongly against it, it might look "shitty", "ridiculous", and "horrible", I guess.
...That's what I'm trying to tell myself, but now I'm wondering if this person's not-flame part of her review does have a point, and my fic's exposition is truly that horrible and OOC for Kaho and Clow/Eriol. What do you, two people in my flist who read this fic and some other CCS fans, think? I need some outside perspective on how to take this. Be honest.
chapters? I realise one can't avoid placing down a little groundwork
but for God's sake, this is ridiculous. If nothing else, Clow is such a
person to wish for Kaho to discover certain things for herself. It
would have been better to have him set her tasks of a sort, so that she
learns that she herself holds the answers already.
Nice premise, shitty execution.
But...
People who have read my E/K fic up to chapter 3, does this person actually have a point? I'm trying to think about it, but I'm fearing I might stick to my subjective logic and disagree with it forever.
Because, you know. I'm trying to think any moment Clow (as in Clow, not Eriol; maybe the reviewer confuses them?) wanted anyone to figure things out by his/herself. Let's see, uh... Sakura? Got her important explanations from Kero, Syaoran, Yue, Kaho, the Eriol-tachi. Clow always provided explanations to Sakura through people. The only person related to Clow who figures a big part of the picture, although not with the whole details, by his own was Touya, and Clow never had that much of a plan for him -or at least beyond giving Yue his magic, if Clow had known that.
Kero and Yue never figured things by themselves, would always find out about Clow's true schemes through the Eriol-tachi, and their memories were altered -more than once, in Yue's case- so they could never.
This is the people Clow loved and trusted. If he never wanted them to come up with answers on their own with no external help, why would he give a damn about bell-bearer Kaho, future reincarnation-girlfriend or not? He and Eriol can't figure out hearts for shit, so would they know she's capable of coming up with the answers on her own?
Also, we don't know how strong Kaho's clairvoyance is. I've thought long about it before writing this fic, and considering Kaho has sported a WTF face more than once during the Final Judgment, I doubt she could be able to figure everything by herself (with or without Eriol's explanations.)
And also, I find know-it-all!Kaho so boring and Sue-like. The Clow affair is messy, and most of the involved people could only understand the big plan after everything is done and you've heard everyone's story. If not even Clow Reed knew how everything would out to be... why would random shrine maiden Kaho Mizuki, who's described as much as an absent-minded person as she's insightful?
Dunno, that's the logic I used for my plotbunny. Obviously, if the reader's interpretation of the characters involved in my Eriol/Kaho is strongly against it, it might look "shitty", "ridiculous", and "horrible", I guess.
...That's what I'm trying to tell myself, but now I'm wondering if this person's not-flame part of her review does have a point, and my fic's exposition is truly that horrible and OOC for Kaho and Clow/Eriol. What do you, two people in my flist who read this fic and some other CCS fans, think? I need some outside perspective on how to take this. Be honest.
no subject
I think that, with Kaho, Eriol isn't going to lead her around like he did with Sakura, forcing her to figure out as much as she can by herself and using tough learning, but that he would wait for her to ask the right questions before giving out answers. Can't reread now to see whether I got that sense from your fic, but that's my general impression.
Of course, that's mostly based on your characterization of him when he wasn't having his life turned upside down without so much as a by-your-leave in t_d, so it might not be the best yardstick for canon!Eriol...no subject
My fic's Eriol took the following approach: "well, first tell me what you do know, and then ask me what you feel you should also know." He didn't force-feed the conversation, although he decides on the order he tells things, and what parts he should discuss with her and which he shouldn't. She keeps interrupting him with more questions, though, and he tries to reply them subtlely without breaking her brain too much or denying her the information or lying. But to make up to it, when Kaho expresses an opinion or a conclusion she came up with, he asks her why.
Then again, my Kaho basically wanted to know what's up with all those people in her vision and why they needed the Bell, and that's... a fatass explanation with so many branches.
But basically, he wanted to know what exactly she could figure out by herself during those years because he was curious.
t_d/ccs_hm!Eriol has only had to explain himself to a mundane girl and a random witch how's not related to the Clow cards, and sometimes about stuff he didn't even understand quite well. When explaining to canon!Kaho, he can't have the same kind of expositions, canon!Eriol, fic!Eriol, or RP!Eriol.